33. After the Pass
A clear day on John Gardner pass, a hard descent, and the accident report I reread afterward
I woke up at 5:30, poked my contacts in, and packed up my gear. Wearing just my base layers and rain jacket, I wanted someone to give me a pat on the back for holding off on my down jacket. With the altitude at Los Perros, the night was cold, and none of us slept particularly well.
I ate two Barebells protein bars, then laced up my boots and zipped open my tent. My trail mates were hitting the bathroom one last time before our ascent. Quinn offered me some chocolate-covered coffee beans. “My go-to for morning hikes,” he assured me as he handed the caffeine over.
We started as four: me, Quinn, Domingo, and Leo. Windguru and the park rangers all said conditions were perfect: light winds and warm temps. So far, they were right.
The initial ascent was forested, the trail winding between trees, then eventually opened into a boulder field with mountains surrounding us. The trail markers transitioned from spots painted onto trunks to red trail poles. By now Quinn had sped ahead, and it was just Domingo, Leo, and I. We stopped for pictures, drank glacial stream water, smiled for selfies. We had a good tempo and energy going.
No one said it, but I knew we were all thinking: where did that accident happen? I tried to imagine the snow tossed around by 180 km/h winds, and the sense of chaos and fear that was completely absent from our blue-sky day. The victims that day turned around just meters away from the top, because visibility was so bad that they couldn’t see the edge.
As we approached the top of John Gardner Pass, I was met by surreal ice blue glaciers and orange reddish mountains. The third largest glacier in the world, like a giant meringue pie. We felt victorious. We made it up in 2.5 hours! We lingered, soaking in the glacier and sense of achievement.
The first moments of the descent were so cinematic. Blue glacier contrasted by warm mountains, with fractal textures, and colors ranging from white snow to sapphire blue. A piece of ice broke off into the lake, gently rippling the water around it. The face of the glacier felt endless as it continued into the horizon and merged with the clouds and snow. As the trail took us into the forest, we could still see the glacier through the trees.
We stopped for lunch at the next ranger station, where the logbook confirmed that Quinn had arrived here over an hour ahead of us, and our ultramarathoners Jack and Emma (who eventually got engaged at Base Torres) had breezed through 2 hours before. I had one last Violet Crumble bar in my pack, a victory violet crumble that I shared with Leo and Domingo. We continued. We had three suspension bridges and 1000 meters of elevation loss ahead of us.
I had been so hyper-focused on making it through the pass, that it didn’t even occur to me that the descent could be challenging or unpleasant in any way. In theory going downhill is easier, in practice it’s a lot of knee pain. The old man grunts started coming out, even with my trekking poles to stabilize me.
We crossed our first suspension bridge, with a bit of trepidation as some of the boards were spaced far apart from each other. Even the sherpas who were sprinting up and down the mountain crossed these bridges with utmost care. Thank God none of us were scared of heights.
The descent was long. It took us 2.5 hours to go up, and another 6.5 to get down. In the last stretch, I asked Domingo how he was doing. “I’m tired of being tired.” Fair enough buddy.
Arriving at Refugio Grey felt like a homecoming. The showers were hot, and I had a bunk bed with real sheets and a pillow on it. Coming from the tents and military rations of Los Perros, the bar with widescreen TV and buffet dinner felt like luxurious abundance.
We were all so happy to see each other and raised a toast to completing the hardest part of the O circuit.
Later that night, I re-read the accident report with new eyes.
The first time I read it, still at home preparing for my trip, it filled me with fear.
The second time, it filled me with sadness. Sadness that these people who loved nature, who spent time and money to make a dream trip come true, did not experience the safety and joy that my group had. And reading about the camaraderie of the group that day, the 30 or so people who started at Los Perros, many of whom then did a volunteer search and rescue – it broke my heart because I recognized myself and my trail mates in that group.
I don’t mean to compare and minimize the pain and the suffering of the people that day. Having gone through it, I felt a deeper sense of loss on behalf of that Nov 25th group. In my mind, it hadn’t occurred to me that the descent could be the most difficult part, because the accident framed the pass itself as the danger.
As I re-read the article, my eyes welled knowing that wasn’t the experience they had. They should have been held back and told to wait a few days, so that the descent—the true hardest part—would have been the most challenging thing they faced. That’s what I wanted for them.
I’m back home now, looking at photos on my camera roll, absorbing whatever goodness is left of our trip through group chats and passing social media interactions, still charmed that such a beautiful place brought us all together. Perhaps we’ll see each other on the trail again.
Trail Notes
Accommodations
Book on Torreshike, the fee they take is well worth it
Fly into Puerto Natales
Humble Hostal Don Guillermo at the start
AKA Patagonia with hot tub after
Stayed a few days in Santiago on the way home at Noi Vitacura. Had a stunning dinner at Ambrosia.
Gear List
Clothes
Everything else
Gossamer Gear Gorilla 40L (this has now evolved into the Gorilla 50)
Dr. Bronner’s Bar Soap
Trowel (not necessary)
Medical kit: gauze, moleskin, scissor, tape, bandaids, aspirin, immodium
Repair kit: duct tape, paracord, krazy glue
Emergency blanket
Theragun mini: this was my luxury item, and worth every ounce!
Things I forgot or wish I brought
Jack Black SPF Lip Balm
Herbal tea bags
A thermos for hot water
Rain cover with carabiner (mine flew away)
Little clips for clothesline
A sample pack of Conditioner
Hiking zip off pants (currently eyeing these)
Beef jerky, overall more savory/salty than sweet snacks